Pain is the one thing that we cannot measure in others. We can measure our own pain, but we could be pain tolerant or not. When asked to give a 1 – 10 at the hospital, I have sometimes wanted to punch the nurse, but I understand that for my 8/10, someone else may feel it as a 10/10 or a 6/10. I know that after a cesarean, my son’s girlfriend said to me “Do you know what I’ve been through!? I was in the worse pain EVER!”. I could have reminded her of my 15 major surgeries and the years of not being able to walk etc. but what help would that be to her? She felt the worse pain she’s ever felt, and to HER, it was worse than anything she could ever imagine; that was the day I realised that unbearable pain to one person is exactly that to another – it doesn’t matter that her pain was a walk in the park to me, it is what she felt that mattered [maybe this is where some specialists go wrong?]. I have spent decades now, learning to describe my different pains, they can be really inventive given practice; I once referred to a hip pain as to me being a Turkey at Christmas and someone just took the leg off it. I am not sure the nurse knew what to do with that description, but that’s how I felt!
The title of this blog speaks for itself, as it does so, you don’t need to know if I have blonde hair, green eyes or I weigh 50kgs or 150kgs; it doesn’t matter to pain and it doesn’t matter to my reasoning behind my decision to start to blog. My main goal in blogging about this, is the incredible discourse between medical specialists and mental health professionals. A psychologist cannot understand the way I feel and the anger I have, because in all his education, he didn’t read a text book about how helpless, angry and completely lost people feel when their pain is ongoing and never-ending. The same as my specialists for my physical health, have no idea what it feels like to wake up and within a split second realise that ‘you are you’ by the surge of pain messages being sent to your brain… “Oh that’s right, this is my life, there’s the pain” and the only thing you want to do is sleep again, at least there and in my dreams I feel no pain. Along my “blogging” experience, I hope to hear from other people going through similar situations and I want this to become a community where we can say exactly what we want, share our stories and ultimately (and in my opinion) speak to other pain sufferers who ARE the experts and know this situation better than anyone else. Pain can ostracize you from your family and friends; it doesn’t care that you just want to be normal and it doesn’t care that you have tried every non-conventional treatment, or that you are at the end of your tether.
I think the hardest thing I have been through on my long journey, is the lack of understanding by pain specialists. It is as if they’ve been told that they need to get all their pain patients drug/pain relief free and set them off into the wilderness. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have been in mental facilities because I just cannot stand it anymore and I feel that I have no support and at times have been told “you just want the pain relief because you’re addicted to them” [I am sure I will talk about that doozie as I continue].
As a first time blogger, I have no idea what is deemed appropriate in size, so I will leave my first real blog at this point. It may take me some time to work out the pictures and such, but I am hoping you didn’t come for the pictures. I will also be asking people to write in about their own journeys and will be doing some interviews with people I know who suffer from many different illnesses which have a pain aspect, how they cope, what they have found helps them and maybe we can also get enough followers to ultimately make a difference; get those Medical and Mental professionals to work together and understand that the correlation between chronic pain and mental health is not a possibility, it’s an absolute. I am a quotes person, I love quotes! Here’s my quote for today, hope you like it:
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think,” said Christopher Robin to Pooh.